Rapid Hope Loss

"I WANT A BOY BEST FRIEND WHO WILL CALL ME BEAUTIFUL, AND LIKE MY PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK, COMMENTING THEM SAYING THINGS SUCH AS THE FACT HE’S PROUD TO HAVE ME AS A BESTFRIEND. ONE THAT I CAN CALL UP, CRYING ABOUT OTHER BOYS, AND HIM SAYING HE’LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM FOR ME. A BOY BESTFRIEND WHO WILL DRIVE ME AROUND LIKE HE’S MY BIG BROTHER, AND KISS ME ON MY CHEEK/FOREHEAD WHEN HE KNOWS I’M UPSET. ONE WHO BECOMES FRIENDS WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND ONE WHO CALLS ME UP TO SEE WHAT I’M DOING. I WANT A BOY BEST FRIEND WHO WILL TELL ME WHEN I’M WRONG, AND FORCE ME INTO FIXING THINGS AND APOLOGIZING BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT IT WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR ME. I JUST WANT A PERFECT BOY BEST FRIEND, WHO WILL LOVE ME AND PROTECT ME FROM ALL THE OTHER BOYS. THE ONE I CAN REALLY CALL MY BESTFRIEND."

I remember having the exact same sentiments (except for the facebook part which we don't have the luxury of yet) when I was still in my loneliest of awkward teen years . I suppose I still am. But I can let go now of all the "I wants" and "I wish" to the "one I can really call my bestfriend".