All we need are some sunshine!

Just this week, it finally dawned on me why I distanced myself from you. You wouldn't believe the walls I've put up after waking up one day to find myself extremely disliking you (after crushing in on you for about 4 months). Funny how all the things just came out my mouth after talking about it after a long while, they were the perfect words to be exact.

You were increasingly becoming such a depressing person.

I don't know when it started but I'm quite sure that you weren't like that before I started liking you (because I wouldn't even give an effin care if you're already one). Probably those times, you too, were carving your own identity away from every person you know.

Anyway, the bottom line is now i can finally tell them why I became so indifferent towards you. I guess, that's where my fault lie. Leaving.Just.Like.That. But times have changed and as sure as it heals wounds it also rebuilds what was once thought as unthinkable.And we come out of this experience bathe in a brighter and clearer light and a little bit wiser on the side.

Thanks to this sudden rush of insight because I found out something that can propel and help me in my future decisions. I am an inch closer to recognizing myself. See, i realized that I don't want to be romantically involved with depressing people. I mean people who has a very negative and bleak perception in life. I am a happy person despite everything. It's all about perspective, dears. My life is a certified messed-up-topsy-turvy-dysfunctional of some sort and I'm quite glad that I have friends who share the same sentiments (because then you'd really know that you are not alone and not the only freak kid in town). Every imaginable case, certainly there's someone who had to go through it, whether they liked it or not, but they weren't so bad themselves. They turned out just fine. We don't have to be what our folks have become. Well, some days we have to see the good and the beauty out of the bad and the ugly.

But I'm still wondering why I'm drawn to weird people. and them too, to me. Is it because I see the good in them? i see something that's worth noticing despite their heavily guarded auras? well at least somebody said that I make them happy in a way. I mean I make them smile even if they don't want to because it's just not in their nature. I make them talk. I even make them blabber. haha. I'm glad that early on in life, I already decided that I want to be with someone who has a good sense of humor. In everything.

I've been meaning..

to post this ever since i read this on the newspaper two weeks ago. It was just yesterday that it really hit me how big this thing has become. a youtube link of Filipinos in perezhilton.com??! that is really BIG. at least hindi gossip 'to.

so im sure most of you have already heard about it. as for those na hindi pa, well eto na ang mga dancing inmates!

goodness im such a loser in linking kaya eto muna ang kaya kong i-offer.pohtek. time constraints din. i'm so sorry.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o

Starstrucked!

When Cinemanila came to UP, syempre hindi ko pinalampas ang pagkakataon na makapanood kahit na di ko man mapanood lahat ng gusto ko dahil sa trabaho. Kung dati kaya kong magbabad sa Cine Adarna pwes, nagbago na ang panahon. huhu.

Bakit ko ba pinanood ang Pisay? Hmm.Syempre dahil kay direk Aureaus Solito! The same guy who brought us Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros, where I first saw Ping (although napanood na kita syempre sa Rizal pero hindi pa ako aware nun) and look at me now, how BIG a Ping follower I am now. haha. But I'm digressing. Yun nga si direk. Cinemalaya film sya. At akala ko ay konti lang ang manonood kasi school day at medyo maaga ang screening. Big mistake. Pambihirang patis, hindi ko talaga naisip ang mga Pisay People. Ang dami nila as in supeeeeer. Wala pa naman akong ticket kasi kala ko pipila na lang ako sa window para bumili.Grabe, grabe talaga.mga 30 minutes kaming naghintay na papasukin (nakapila ngapala ko sa isang side, kasama ng mga iba pang napangakuan nung organizer, habang pinapapasok lahat ng beauty and the geeks sa theater. hehe. In fairness to them, kahit ginigyera na sila ng mga tao dahil sa tagal at kawalang kasiguruhan, nakapasok pa naman kami at thankfully nakaupo din ako, sa monoblock nga lang. dami kasi talagang tao.Nakakatuwa nandun pala yung mga cast (most of them are Goin Bulilit kids). At ang ganda ng soundtrack.Pramis!

Sa sobrang dami ng tao ay sa ibang exit na kami pinadaan para hindi na namin makasulubong ang mga papasok pa na tao for the next film, Tukso, which unfortunately I can't really watch no matter how badly I want to. huhu. But seeing Ping, Sir Pen and Bajekjek made it all okay.Well, ganun talaga ang tagahanga.

Egis erp!

Pangalawa kong napanood ay ang Best Picture ng recently concluded Cinemalaya 2007: Tribu. Pinilit bumangon kahit puyat pa 'ko and all pero worth it, as in. Yung ibang cast ay nandun, sina Makoy, Pongke at 2 pang guy na hindi ko alam ang pangalan (I'm so sorry!!!).Nagperform sila sa stage before ipalabas ang film. May short talk din si Direk Jim Libiran and a short background with regards to the film, which is actually his thesis. Dun ko (namin) nalaman na some of the cast were given a chance to study in CAL under the great Sir Almario. Grabe mga tsong, pagbutihan nyo ha! May nakitang something si direk sainyo kaya wag nyong sayangin ang chance na binigay sainyo lalo pa't kaunti na lang ang mga batang nabibigyan ng pagkakataon na makapasok sa peyups, sa mahal ng tuition.

Brutal kung brutal. dark kung dark. See our very own Tondo at its best and its worst. Bow ako kay Ms. Malou Crisologo. Sayang wala si Ghe-Ghe sa UP, gusto ko din sana syang makita. Si Sir Vim Nadera, kamusta naman ang binoculars! haha.Si Papa Dom ay dumalo sa lamay.Ayus.

"I love Thugz Angel"

Pero ang best part talaga ng gabi ay nung nakita ko si Howie Severino. Gosh. Na-starstruck ako, hence the title of this entry. Sa sobrang na-overwhelm ako na nakita ko na sya sa wakas, ay napa-"hi Sir" with matching kaway ako sa kanya. And he actually smiled and waved back!!! gosh. mag-isa lang ako niyan ha. on normal days di ko ginagawa yun. sana sunod si Jay Taruc naman. Madami na kong nakitang sikat na tao pero mas drawn talaga ako towards people na hindi super sikat. Sidekicks, kontrabida, artists, underground people, journalists and the likes. mas matutuwa pa ko pag nakita ko si Soliman Cruz, Berting Labra, Paquito Diaz, Subas Herrero, Bayani Casimiro Jr.,Kuya Bodjie at Ate Siena (wrong spelling pa ata), at marami pang iba. Pero syempre inaamin ko na gusto ko ring makita sina Marky Cielo, Sid Lucero at Shia LaBeouf (which is close to impossible!). haha!

As for Tukso, I will wait for you sa Indiesine. So long!

Next destination: 9th Cinemanila International Film Festival. Kahit isa man lang. Volver or The Namesake or Persepolis. malabo na tayong makasilip kay parang Quentin Tarantino. Come on! If I know reserved na lahat ng upuan sa mga higher people. tsktsk. Life.

...

hmm..super tahimik ng blog kong ito.wala nang reader kahit isa, aside from me syempre. kahit dati ayaw kong maglagay ng thoughts sa multiply, mukhang mapapadalas na ata. at least kasi doon, may nagogoyo rin ako paminsan-minsan na mag-comment at mag-share ng kanilang two cents. *sniffsniff*

isang mahabang bunung-hininga.