Where do I go from here?

As my second semester (and an almost normal life) officially ends today, i can't help but compared what i felt on my first day in school from a new house to my last day in school, still from the same house. It was a weird feeling. Probably reality's way to let everything sink in on me and wake me up from my long reverie. Even though it's such a shame to admit it in here (where God knows who else reads this crap anyway), in a way it can probably do me good. How ironic, that almost 3 years ago, on my way to school, I was crying because everything that was happening to me then was SO not fair. The moving, the financial issues and the new life. Earlier, on my way to school, I was crying because once again my life is about to completely change. I wasn't really sad or anything because of what was about to happen to me, i am more worried of what will become of me after this.

A Series of Unfortunate Events
Life in house is madness. It's getting too chaotic there now that people are having a hard time mulling their own thoughts. Decisions are being made left and right, and I guess, I can't blame anyone of their reactions to this and that. So the news definitely caught us (me) unprepared, but i had no bad feelings or anything. How could I in the first place. And then, there was my tita's incident a couple of nights ago. She really needs to rest more often cos if she don't, she'd better find a new mother for her kids SOON!
As for my academic life. oh well, oh well. This semester is what I call mediocre sem. I could have done better, but I did not. I could have done more, but i did not. So, don't expect anything good about me this sem. I'm just glad it's now over.
Friends,i gotta say this: I am now officially behind. Although I've catched up for a while, everything came back to its places when I heard news of this-and-that and so-and-so that my mind simply gave up. What can I say? That's probably what you get when you love turtles a lot. haha.
Speaking of reptiles, I have another bad news not concerning the reptile species though. Our belove Pingping died last tuesday. While I was eating dinner, I noticed that only two fishes are swimming in the aquarium: there's no Pingping in sight! Gasp. I actually did panic that I asked my 3 year old cousin to go check if Pingping was just inside the well (they have a well inside the aquarium). Nada. Nil. Good thing my cousin did not see him lifeless because if he ever did, two dorks would be crying by then. Again. wherever do fishes go when they die, I hope there's water there.

I don't know where to put my story with juraine but i'm pretty sure that I don't want her there in the Unfortunate events (it was already awfully unfortunate). I'd like to relieve the happier days we had when she was here in Diliman. I know that she knows how happy she made me when she gave me copies of OTH in CDs. Though there were mishaps, they were minor enough to affect me. Besides, whatever she failed to give me, she gladly replaced. Our (Kimi and I) short moments with her definitely rocked. HAha! Love you fishy-fishy appel!



(the pix above was taken and given to me by kimi who unabashedly called me a technomoron!Suits me just fine. Juraine said to take a picture of me because I was on my darndest giddy moments and everything was just something that happens very often to me. See? I am such a boring creature.)

So what now? The thing that I am absolutely sure is what would happen to me in the coming days. It'll fonna be a heck of rollercoaster ride, rainy days, gloomy and sad me. That I'm sure. Wherever my destiny brings me in the next 60 days, I wish for strength and humor for me to take everything well despite future hardships. And I do hope that someday, somebody would answer when they hear a knock on their door, cos who knows, it's probably gonna be me.

the story of the one who was left behind

This is not the first time that i admitted i have been missing an awful lot of actions lately. Well, blame it to the poor academic standing, SA work, family responsibilities and personal routines. I have been left way,way behind in all the news, worthy or not, i rarely see my friends/orgmates, i have been neglecting the readings screaming their lungs out for me to take a look at them and for the nth time, I flunked the M subject. Enough. It's another story to tell that I am not going to share in the near future.

OK. Back to the topic. And so in this way, what i really wanted to say is that even if most of the times I am the closest thing to being a holy ghost, kj, busybee,penniless, etc., my thoughts are with you guys (naks sa drama ampoohtek!). Hindi madaling mapag-iwanan and i guess that's gotta be one of the worst feelings in the world. But then, we all have our reasons, so are you. So, adding to the fact that my thoughts are with you nga (haha!),my sympathies (tama ba spelling ko?!) are of course, with you!Syempre, mga kaibigan ko kayo at mahal ko kayo kahit na hindi ko na memorize mga schedule nyo at wala na kong track of records ng latest crushes and kalokohans nyo. :)

So, sa lahat ng dumaranas ng paghihirap maging ito man ay tungkol sa exams, papers, meeting deadlines, lovelifes, thesis, pimples, dementia, families, mean girls, mean boys, friendships, foodies, body system, celestial impacts or world peace...si mariela ay si mariela. one text/email/call away lang. do remember that. As for my perpetual absence in almost everything, you can do the deductions (cos i'm no way good at it!) And oh, i still love Ping Medina. He's the closest thing that i could picture beside the word adoration. Tsktsk. Talk about dementia.

UPX Christmas Caroling pictures: the late edition

Power-grab-books: The ooh-la-la Edition

Last week, a friend called me in our house, since she cannot reach me through my phone to tell me this amazing news again that made me wanna go jump around in circles. It’s a Powerbooks sale! It only shows how much she knows about me when it comes to books and book sales for that. I really wanted to scream because of joy of the news that she brought me but of course, I obviously cannot do that. If you may remember, when NBS had their own warehouse sale, I wasn’t able to make it, first: because it was held on a weekend and second: it was such a short notice. So she ended up buying the books I really wanted. Goodie! It was such a catch that I swore, I wouldn’t let this Powerbooks sale pass up. So, I went there last Monday (I cut my duty short because of this!) to see for myself what wonders a sale can give me this time. Indeed, it was such catch that I had a hard time picking up the right books and the books that I really wanted. Although, it was a bit disappointing because of the fact that the books I am dying to have are only 20% off. Tough luck. It was still expensive for that matter so I contented myself by fishing other good books in the really “bagsak presyo” part. And here’s my purchase:

1) Man Camp by Adrienne Brodeur. Hardbound. Original price: PhP 1075.00 , bought it for PhP 79.00
2) Carlottas Kittens and the Club of Mysteries by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. Hardbound. OP- PhP 759, bought it for PhP 39.00
3) Like Water in Wild Places by Pamela Jooste. Paperback. OP-PhP 519.00, got it for PhP 49.00
4) Angel’s Crest by Leslie Schwartz. Paperback. OP- PhP 569.00, got this for PhP 49.00 also.
5) Trick of the Mind by Judy Waite. Hardbound. OP-PhP 689.00, got this for PhP 49.00 too!

All in all, the total cost should have been PhP 3611.00! My golly! You wouldn’t caught me buying things with that price. But I got everything of those for only 265-freaking-pesos! And this are all BRAND NEW books (I even got mine still in plastics!). Definitely I’ll come back because I still have my eye on that HP6 they are selling for 499 only and Anthony Kiedis’ Scar Tissue (I’m still raising the money..haha!)

Girl, Interrupted

Last night, I had this weird dream. I know it's really lame but trust me when I say this: I never dreamed of a crush before. You know the drill. I do not fantasize about guys in my dream. I dunno why. It has been that way ever since or I just probably have forgotten it by the time I woke up. Anyway, i dreamed that ____ is my boyfriend. ( i don't wanna mention the name because I'm sure anyone who's gonna read this will probably laughed their way out into the bathroom. if you do want to know who he was, you can email me. haha!) Honestly, i was not bragging or anything about him being my boyfriend (of all the people!). I'm pretty sure that what I felt during those times was not "pagyayabang" or what. The more appropriate word would be contented.happy. Sorry if this seems really vivid, i don't know why I remembered every detail of it! All I know is that i was very happy about it.

But wait. Here comes the analytical part. When I woke up and have digested everything about the stupid and weird dream, i started to think that what my dream is trying to tell me is not the obvious part. Forget about the guy being my boyfriend!! It will NEVER happen in a billion years, that i know for sure. Rather it's about the unseen part. The part that you actually figure out after it happened. My own interpretation of that dream is that this idea have actually been lying somewhere deep of my consciousness. I just never had the guts to acknowledge and thought of it in a different method. Because i never thought of myself as someone's future "significant other", I never realized what I'm capable of. I never thought of what I could be and do for someone else. I know i have a looonngg way to go and i never denied that fact, but sometimes, sometimes i wonder what I could be if I ever do get that chance someday.

The bottom line is(in case you did not see that coming c:), no matter how stupid and lame i might sound, i realized that I was just doing fine handling him. I hope that this could not be a way to get any wrong ideas about me. It was just a dream for cripes sake and i could be wrong for all i know. It was just nice knowing that i did not look at it in the obvious way, because if i did, i am probably dancing my way to school everyday! haha. Hey, just a thought. I see no bad in it, after all it's just a dream.

Never Gone

Two weeks ago, i noticed that i was missing my ID. Freaking mother of Eve, it's my ID! It's not something i lose because i've never lost it before in my entire UP life. But apparently I did. After turning my things inside out and still not finding any beaten ID,i just stopped looking for it. The problem with me is I have this ongoing memory-recalling-incapabilities (whut??).Whatever. Sometimes i forget things that i have just seen or heard, thank goodness this does not always happen or else I'm in for very bad things to come.

But I gotta cut the crap now because I never enjoyed the subject of dwelling on things I lost. Because I never lost it in the first place. Or something like that. A few hours ago, a classmate asked me if i have lost my ID and of course i answered yes. He told me that i left it in PopI lab. And then everything came back to me. Darn, darn. See? Me and my failing memory. I was so happy i probably have shooked the guy harder than I intended to do. Oh well. Happiness!!!

Lost

Yesterday,after walking under the freaking sun along EDSA on my way to a certain mall to pamper myself (because it's a Wednesday after all), two women ahead me kept on looking at something beside the paneled glass (still overlooking the sidewalk). Of course,my curiosity got the best of me and so i found out for myself what could make this two women to stop and stare at something. And there behind the not-so-green plants are two (one boy and one girl) nine-ish or ten-ish kids smoking two different cigarettes simultaneously. My Golly (as what Ma'am Monsod always say)! I don't know what to feel or even care to think of what i saw. Probably it was so disheartening that i really didn't thought of anything else. If these same kids are what Jose Rizal have envisioned of as the savior of the Motherland, then I'm sure he probably can't stop fidgeting in his grave right now. I don't know. I'm not being righteous or anything, but this, this are the kind of kids we should actually be nurturing inside a warm home, educating inside a classroom. Not in the streets were everything they see, smell and hear gets into their system. Forget the freaking rightness or wrongness. But of course, all i can do is watch in silence and shockness as to what this kids can do more than i can do in my entire life. But then again, most of us choose not to do anything at all. What, if you may ask I can do? I could have done something better than to stare at them. But like what most does, i am probably the lesser one because i choose to be ignorant amidst everything that is happening around me. Maybe someday, i could really justify the bliss in being ignorant, but not now. Definitely not.

fun things to discover

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Are 30% Weird

Not enough to scare other people... But sometimes you scare yourself.

How Weird Are You?

Reality show rantings

anong nangyayari sa AI? bakit naman naalis si Gedeon?!!sayang, maraming nagru-root kay chicken little na maalis tapos sya pa yung nag-survive!oh well.botohan nga talaga.tungo naman tayo sa PBBCE. nak ng *%&$! nakakairita to the max talaga yang kuya na yan a. sino ba sya para paglaruan ang damdamin (naks) ng mga players nya? nakakainis lang kasing isipin na lagi na lang nyang ginagawa 'to e nakakaasar naman talaga.hmmpp..twist your face!

Bukas, starstruck naman!kahit di ko napanood to ng buo (dahil wala naman talagang pag-asa na magkaroon at nakakainis karamihan sa kanila), sana ang piliin ng tao e yung deserving pa rin talaga. i still believed in what chuck told the national TV last Sunday, that at the end of the day, it still boils down to marky and iwa! wala kong pakialam sa babae pero sana naman pairalin ng mga tao kukote nila at si MARKY ang manalong ULTIMATE SOLE SURVIVOR! nyahaha.

i am so sad kasi for the umpteenth time ay nagpalit na naman ng cable sa bahay. kaines! walang Star World, Star Movie, AXN at Cinemax . kaasar! di tuloy ako makanood ng Amazing Race 9! tsktsk.

Agen,agen,agen

pasensya na pero ibabalik ko uli 'to. wala pang sumasagot kahit isa. huhu. :)

my johari window
my nohari window

sensya na.

It's never too late..

Ate Greyz 101
1). the lady with a confidence worth envying of!
2) sobrang generous at kind sa mga mahal nya.
3) kapag di ka nya minumura, it means di ka nya mahal.
4) a true blue ate and nanay on the making, maalagain e!
5) sometimes childlike, sometimes very frown-up. but i'm sure she've grown a lot these past few years, being so far away and all.
6). rakista depende sa mood. sentimental depende uli sa mood. laidback, pag nasa mood. kahit ano, kaya nyang magconform.

7) she can bitch about a lot of things but it still makes sense because she can!

8) one of my perpetual source of light.

9) madami kaming pangarap nung college days and i'm glad yung iba e nakamtan na nya.

10) my buddy in reading books!kahit anong genre, go! she even supports my BSC collection.

11) my Gilmore Girls buddy back then. Sobrang riot kapag umuuwi kami sa bahay nila sa Bulacan, saya!

12) a woman that can be very stubborn and will insist anything if she's right. ibang klase ang "pilit" power nito.

13) artista.lover.friend.anak.ina.kaibigan.musician.reader.fanatic.

14) shopaholic 'to. grabe!lagi nya ko nun sinasama at nililibre whenever she feels like it, especially when she's down or deliriously happy.

I miss her so much, i miss doing crazy stuffs with her and getting soaked in the rain with her. I do, do love her!

tales outside the bed

yep,after spending almost 4 days in the dark (well,not really literally but very close), burning like a freaking caserole, i am finally battling the last very bad bacterias. hmmm.yesterday went good because i was actually expecting another comeback of the annoying fever. but luckily, it did not. thank God my army inside are still working despite everything. So whatever language you understand, i hope you'll understand thank you though.
once again, while i was getting in and out of my consciousness, i realized that grandmothers are reall, really a wonderful creation of God. that no matter how annoying they can get for most of the times, at the end of the day, they're still the one giving you the milo, skyflakes and everything. i was really grateful for her of that.:)

because of the darn sickness, i missed being a canvasser for the election yesterday, but at least i'm sane enough not to compromise a health that isn't even better yet. and hey, i know i made SOMEONE very happy about quitting at the last minute, so i'm already good about that. wink,wink.